Where the hell is everyone???!!!!

Sorry this is going to be an angry blog so if you don't want to read it please don't.

Where are all the people that call themselves my friends???? First let me start by saying that no member of my family has called to check on me and see how I am doing, at all! My mom has been through 3 divorces and for 2 of them I always checked in on her and my sisters were calling her constantly. Why can't the same be done for me! Why does no one seem to care at all about how I or my kids are doing?! Last night I had a very painful conversation with my husband and was balling after I got off the phone and I needed to talk to someone and I had no idea who to call because who really is there for me. I have one friend that checks in on me all the time but she had something of her own to worry about last night. I also have another friend who has been there during this from the beginning but I feel like I lean on her too much. I just feel that when times get tough people disappear. I believe that I have been there for other people when they have gone through tough times but seems like I am all alone in this. I guess that is OK in a way because I get to find out who really truly cares and sometimes the people that call themselves your best friend turn out to not be there when it matters. To the very few that do check in and send me really sweet text messages and calls to see how I am doing thank you very much this angry blog does not apply to you. If you don't call me I am not going to call you simple as that so if you don't hear from me you know why! You spend just about 18 years of your life with someone and try to end it, it is going to be painful and hard. I hate the fact that he is having such a hard time with this but he is still not doing what he needs to do to take care of himself. I am just venting here but my feelings are hurt, my self esteem is gone and I don't know what the hell to do or say or how to act. I want everyone to believe that everything is OK but it isn't and it probably won't be for a while. I am not trying to be mean I just feel like I am going to take care of my kids and myself and everyone that is there for me. But what hurts the most is that my own family does not call me to see how the girls and I are doing. But I guess everyone is too wrapped up in their own little world than to worry about what is going on with everyone else. well that is all the venting for now